from a fine art student to a Tamil - British photographer

[image description: a photo from Mathushaa’s ‘South Asian Fusion’ series, depicting three South Asian women who look directly into the camera, resting on each other while sitting at different levels]

Considering myself a fashion photographer, stylist and creative director is something that is surprisingly still fairly new to me. My work hasn’t always revolved around south Asian culture, let alone my Eelam Tamil identity(referring to Eelam rather than Sri Lankan due to the eradication and genocide of Tamils during Sri Lankan civil war, which took place from 1983 to 2009 but was also the reason why her parents had to immigrate to London) - it is something that I've only started to explore and understand within the last few years for many reasons. My foundations were unexpected interestingly, but also tough, tougher than I expected it to be. In most cases, a foundation allows you time to really learn and explore a certain subject that you were thinking about studying at a degree level; it's meant to prepare you, but also allow you to make mistakes, something that I definitely did. However, for me, my mistake was in allowing certain tutors too much creative control over the work I was creating - it meant that I didn't actually get to explore aspects of my Tamil history and heritage because it was either "too boring" or "it has been done before" (bare in mind, I was the only south Asian in my class, let alone Tamil creative), but it also meant that if I created work like this "I wouldn't get into any of my university choices". But you live and you learn, something I realised when I did get accepted into all of my choices; as difficult and irritating as this experience was, it gave me a lot of motivation to eventually rebel against these beliefs, that certain people who didn't understand or bother to learn about my culture/ lifestyle, had. However, it also made me realise the type of vision the industry represented - I was in an environment where I was expected to try and emulate or be inspired by work that had already been created, because at that time this was better than creating something based on an individual's personal story.

[image description: a photo from Mathushaa’s ‘South Asian Fusion’ series, depicting three South Asian women sitting and kneeling in a garden setting. They look directly into the camera, dressed in green and white and wearing gold jewellery]

It wasn't until I started my university degree that I actually had the creative freedom to explore the topics that I care and am most passionate about, but even that took a lot of time. I spent first year very much lost on understanding and knowing what I wanted to explore. Thinking back, I carried forward the scepticism that I felt about my work and creative talents during my foundation into what I was making in my first year - I started to care more about getting the best grade and doing the best that I could, than actually doing the work itself. A massive learning curve for me was spending summer before second year figuring out what inspired me and what I wanted my creative work and process to reflect - which is my Tamil identity. I wanted to use the creative arts, explore and learn more but most importantly I wanted to reconnect with that part of myself again; especially after distancing myself further due to the creative limitations of my foundation.

[image description: ‘Ryan Lanji’ by Mathushaa, depicting Ryan sitting on the floor, gazing directly into the camera, draped in fluorescent soft pink and purple hues]

 It was in my second year of university where I restarted my creative journey and began to discover so many incredible aspects of Tamil culture, but also started to understand who I was as an artist; a process which, after all my experiences of feeling lost, I didn't expect to go through so soon. But speaking of unexpected, I definitely did not think my second year would go from collaborative shoots, exploring London and being in and out of campus, to only just living, breathing and studying from my room - let alone that carrying on into my third year. I'm not the only one who is frustrated by the limitations of COVID and has found it difficult to find new methods of creating art without people; being a student meant I had no choice but to find new and innovative ways to stay creative and keep making work – I really couldn't afford a break, especially as it is my final year. However, after feeling frustrated and confused, I have managed to adjust and adapt to the current circumstance and to creating still lifes, self-portraits and even portraits with my mum. Something that I do know I wouldn't have considered if it wasn't for the multiple COVID lockdowns - is it weird to feel slightly grateful for them? In this time, I've been able to collaborate with my mum on my project and really understand Tamil culture and lifestyle from not just her and what she's learnt but also hear her stories and personal experiences - something which has been quite nostalgic and sentimental.

[image description: a photo from Mathushaa’s ‘South Asian Fusion’ series, depicting four South Asian women looking directly into the camera in front of a draped backdrop. three sit up, facing the camera directly, one lies on another’s lap on the far right]

Lockdown has been perfect for looking back on my work and reflecting - my journey has definitely been unexpected; I didn't even consider fashion photography as a medium within my creative practice, let alone as my career. Based on my personal experience alone, what I've realised is that the journey is never going to be perfect or easy – there are going to be many ups and downs, full of doubt at times (which can be a bit of understatement), but it's something we must go through and with time overcome to reach a level of pride and confidence in not just our work, but who we are as a people and creatives. COVID has become another one of those irritating hurdles but I'm curious and hopeful to see where my creative journey goes next because of its impact on the industry. 

[image description: a photo from Mathushaa’s ‘South Asian Fusion’ series, depicting a South Asian woman draped in gold diamond jewellery. her gaze is averted from the camera, looking upwards]

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Mathushaa Sagthidas's photography showcases a strong interest in fine art, contemporary fashion and styling; skills furthered whilst studying fashion promotion at Ravensbourne University London and fine art photography at Camberwell College of Arts, UAL. Mathushaa’s work often examines her identity, her Tamil Eelam ethnicity and British nationality, which is a pivotal part of her work. This complex cultural identity is often reflected through traditions, history and strongly by fashion photography. Studying fashion promotion has enabled her to develop a style rich in cultural and historical references through fashion photography. Her shoots often incorporate handcrafted elements through styling, prop making and theatrical settings, something she has loved doing since studying fine art at school. Some of Mathushaa’s works have been featured on Graduate Fashion Week, Fashion Scout, FAD Charity, Anisha Parmar London, MESA Magazine, Asian Woman Festival and more. Feel free to check it out! You can find Mathushaa on instagram, facebook and twitter.