Mending

Sometimes I think you are a gift for me 

To make up for all the unloves 

For, for granted and dismissed 

For those eggshell days 

When bruises aren't seen but still exist 

You bring devotion in waves 

Sometimes 

I think you are a trickery 

To weaken these structures I built 

Till they collapse and fall for 

Tenderness and fulfilled 

For security, and wantedness

A cruel illusion that insists 

Sometimes 

I know I do not deserve you 

The affection, the kindness 

The compassion, this goodness 

I am not sure I have these things that 

You share in abundance as if love 

Was not a finite resource 

So 

I Release change into upturned hats 

Recycle, offer directions 

Thank bus drivers, talk to stray cats 

Restore an equilibrium 

To this world of unlovings 

This world of unwantedness 

That must have missed 

The accident that allowed you 

And I to exist 

illustration by Kat Cassidy.